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Post by Firzoidian on Feb 19, 2015 15:49:10 GMT -5
Jake quickly woke after he heard the noise. Screams of terror. He grabbed his coat off his bed post and ran down the stairs and outside. There, in the middle of the street, stood a gate. It looked like a normal gate, it was made of metal but the odd thing was no one or no thing could touch it. Guards tried throwing ropes around it to keep it closed, the ropes caught on fire. Then a black crow landed on the top of the gates and was electrocuted soon after.
Suddenly the gates bursted open sending flaming rope everywhere. But through the flames Jake saw shadows of smallish creatures. They seemed to be jumping up and down in excitement. The Poisoned Gates have now been opened.
The creatures ran out of the gates, attacking anything in sight.Townsfolk and guards alike came crashing down to the ground once they got hit by the creature's weapons. Jake ran from the gates and into the forest of shadows. He knew nothing of the dangers he would soon have too face in order to shut The Poisoned Gates.
---Too be continued
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Post by EmperorXernadon on Feb 20, 2015 15:03:14 GMT -5
One, you used the wrong kind of "too", it should be "to". There were some other grammatical errors, such as "But through the flames you could see shadows of smallish creatures." you should have put that "Jake could see shadows of...". Understand? Well, I look forward to your next post.
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Post by Admin on May 23, 2015 21:20:47 GMT -5
I enjoyed your post! It was a great hook to begin a story. Athough, I would go into more detail about how the gate looked. Cannot wait to see how the story develops!
-Admin
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Post by tender on Mar 5, 2022 15:01:54 GMT -5
I will keep in mind.
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Post by tender on Mar 9, 2022 12:05:55 GMT -5
Thanks for the info.
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Post by tender on Mar 10, 2022 15:13:49 GMT -5
I'll take a note.
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